Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn ("In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."). --HP Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu

The stars hath turned in the heavens once more: Mighty Cthulhu stirs. His dreams reacheth forth, communing with those with ears to hear. Iä! Shub-Niggurath! His thoughts trample down along the pathways of thy mind; thou knowest His footprints, each of which is a wound...

Thursday, October 28, 2004

What does "Schadenfreude" mean?

Because that's what I'm thinking when I try to imagine the freepers' response to seeing a picture like this.
Dictionary.com defines "schadenfreude" as "Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others." Okay, freepers, I'll go with that.


Man's Best Friend

LegalSpice over at Daily Kos, photographic evidence that dogs love Humanity. Sometimes often.

Alternate caption: What you should do when you see a Bush™.


Update: Torture Bill Still Alive and Kicking

Dennis Hastert's (R-Rightard)
H.R.10 (Sections 3032 and 3033, pages 254-258 of this large .pdf) is still around, and is holding up House resolution of the National Intelligence Reform Act.

A quick refresher:

... the dense and hastily drafted House version of the bill to implement the September 11 commission recommendations includes a provision widely seen as an attempt to legalize "extraordinary rendition" -- a technical euphemism to describe the practice of sending suspects to the Syrians or Jordanians so we can avoid doing the dirty work of torture ourselves. The Torture Convention naturally bars parties from sending anyone to a country where "there are substantial grounds for believing that he would be in danger of being subjected to torture." But the House bill would lift this prohibition, enabling the United States to deport (or "render") foreign nationals to countries long condemned by the U.S. State Department for widespread practices of torture and other gross abuse.

A Poison Pill: House Republicans, adhering to their typical herd mentality, have blocked all attempts to strike this language from NIRA. In a typically cynical ploy to gather mud for future election battles, the Rethugs are forcing the Democrats to oppose this bill now so that they can later claim that Democratic politicians "blocked", "delayed", or "voted against" intelligence reform. That the neo-clowns would sink to using torture for political purposes says everything we need to know about their moral compass.

A Partial Victory for Evil: Congress announced that, due to the House impasse,
further debate over H.R.10 will be delayed until after the election. Should Kerry win, Hastert's torture amendment will probably die, but only after a major media-driven battle, and at the cost of letting House Rethugs argue that Kerry and the Democrats are weak on the "War on Terriers®": Look for Hastert all over the Sunday morning circuit over the next several months.

Until then, the Rethugs can now blame the Democrats for "blocking" intelligence reform. Nevermind that H.R.10 was never part of the 9/11 Committee's recommendations.

The Media Whores Brush-off Their Knee-pads: As you might expect, the media is already swollowing the Rightards' spin, claiming that the dispute is over budget and turf. They never mention that A) H.R.10 would legalize the outsourcing of torture, or B) that the budget and turf disputes are not in any way related to the 9/11 Committee's recommendations, and that striking H.R.10 would have no overall impact on NIRA. Papers from the NYT to the Seattle Post Intelligencer are falling for this crap, mirroring CNN's typical whoring. As usual, don't look for any help from the mainstream media.

So What Next? This is going to continue to be a grave threat to the moral integrity of the United States regardless of who wins on November 2nd. Unfortunately, with the belly-up approach taken by the mainstream media, we will have to take the initiative to defeat this attrocity ourselves:

We've made a difference before. Hopefully, for the World's sake as well as our own, we can do so once again.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Attaturk Does It Again

Jon Stewart isn't the only one out there who can brilliantly and succinctly illustrate
the stupidity of today's media:


For example, Bush is speaking, suddenly he stops, drops his pants and eats a baby.

Initial impression --- Bad, film of Bush holding baby by neck, his bloody face buried in the infant's midsection. His face withdraws from the now quivering torso covered with blood and entrails, a crazed look in his eye.

First GOP response: I heard it from another guy, who knows this guy that was Osama's baby and it was loaded with explosives.

Instantaneously Drudge Reports: Bush saves crowd from Osama's Bomb

NY Post reports: Bush saves world from Demon Baby

Wash. Times reports: Bush saves world from Demon Baby just like Reverend Moon fortold.

Typical Freeper: Bush saves crowd from Osama's Bomb, linky linky

Newscycle ends.

Next morning newscycle:

NY Times: Baby was not Osama's, not loaded with explosives.

NBC: Our report last night saying that the Baby might have contained explosives was not correct.

John Kerry: When John Kerry is president he will not eat an innocent child. The President needs to apologize.

Ed Gillespie: I think it is terrible that John Kerry now criticizes President Bush for acting quickly to protect people given the information he had at the time.

Associated Press: Security experts say there was no information that it was necessary to eat a baby, especially while not wearing pants.

The Corner: We know it looks bad that Bush ate a baby, but Cliff May says he knows the mother of the baby, and its well known she is a terrorist.

Typical Freeper returns: Roh, Roh, Baby may have been terrorist after all.

Wash Post: Baby's mother is named Shirley Gustafson, is from Wisconsin, a baptist, and works as a Greeter at Wal-Mart.

Wall Street Journal Editorialist: You cannot tell me that Kerry didn't kill and eat all sorts of babies in Vietnam! In fact, I spoke to John O'Neil who says that Kerry once ate an entire Vietnamese Orphanage.

To which was added:

Fox News: The baby was already dead when he found it, killed by insurgents before he arrived. He was eating the baby out of compassion, to spare its parents the trauma of seeing the body.

Tom Ridge/Homeland Security: The baby was trying to cross the border without proper papers-Ted Nugent brought it down with a bow and arrow. Ann Coulter was there to verify the kill.
--The Culture Ghost

SecDef Donald Rumskull: Reports that say that the President ate a baby are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known babies; there are babies we know we know. We also know there are baby unknowns; that is to say we know there are some babies we do not know. But there are also unknown babies — the babies we don't know we don't know.
--Great Cthulhu and
Donald Rumskull

Any others you can think of?


Whew! Some relief at last

Just as I thought all that neo-clown mendacity was going to make my head explode, some timely relief has arrived:
New GYWO is now up.


Tuesday, October 26, 2004


Tell Tony Bliar

It's no secret that I'm very much against the needless, illegal war in Iraq. My hatred of Blinky™ is predicated in great part by his lying us into this mess, and his subsequent betrayal and abandonment of the troops who are now dying for his lies. I want our troops home, but I want them to stay alive in the meantime.

You'd think that with all of the "allies" that Dumbya™ boasts about, our men and women would receive some measure of help in ducking all those bullets and RPG's. Yet we're taking
90+% of all coalition casualties. WTF?

Well, this week Hack does
what Hack does best: Talks to the guys on the sharp end. And what they have to say about our "coalition partners" doesn't paint a good sitrep:
The recently returned vet describes how a senior British officer explained his army’s philosophy: “We stay back until they become very bold and over-extend themselves. Then we jump out, counterattack and drive them back.”

“That’s how the Brits lost the American Revolution,” the vet observed. “The Iraqi insurgents avoid direct contact until they’re ready to engage on their terms at their time.”

Just before he came home, one Brit battalion was moved to the mean killing field of Baghdad – where he notes that “they better seriously change their style of doing things if they want to stay alive.”

Italy and Poland don't seem to be doing any better:
“What's your view on Poland’s (2,460 troops) and Italy’s (3,000) threat to follow Spain’s pullout from Iraq?” I asked him.

“No big deal,” he replied, “because they don’t bring much to the party. We had to take An Najaf two times, once from Saddam and once from Sadr. We ended up paying in blood twice for the same real estate while the Poles and Spanish (1,300) let one of the most peaceful areas in Iraq go to hell.”

It seems that our "best" allies are helping defend our soldiers and marines by adopting a siege mentality:
“Many of our coalition partners have yet to learn you can’t hunker down in mud forts and expect insurgents to kick back,” says another good soldier, who’s been working with coalition troops for almost a year. “For example, a Bulgarian...leader, fed up with being mortared night after night, asked his Polish commander why his unit wasn’t sending out patrols to kill the attackers. The Pole replied, ‘Well ... it’s very dangerous out there.’ By giving up the initiative, the Poles have allowed the insurgents to determine where and when they will strike.”

The US Army does have friends, but many have left, and the rest aren't in enough numbers to offer much help:
According to this source, the problem isn’t just with the Poles: “When Spain bugged out, sadly the Hondurans (368) and Dominicans (302) followed. These guys were fierce fighters like the El Salvadorians (361), who fortunately stayed. As for the Spanish, they left with every bullet they brought.”


...the Japanese (240) are doing a great job. And anyone planning to shoot at a Bulgarian (480) will find himself dead before he takes aim. Mongolians (160) have also proven their steel, and the Australians are superb, while the Ukrainians’ (1,600) performance is mixed.

So okay, Mr Preznit™, I'll tell Tony Bliar (and Berlusconi and Kwasniewski): "Thank you so much for your symbollic contribution. Now, could you please tell your soldiers to actually fight for a change? You see, we're getting tired of stopping every bullet that comes down the road just so you can claim you support the War on Terra®."
...if the Brits, Poles and Italians would rather leave than take the initiative, the consensus is: let them pack their coolers, teapots and beach umbrellas and go home.


Monday, October 25, 2004

A Little Perspective

Plenty is being made by other, better bloggers about the 380 tons of RDX, HMX, et cetera that ShrubCo™ "lost" a year and a half ago. But I thought I should
share this with you:

OK City = 5,000 pounds/2,300 kg of ammonium-nitrate and nitromethane.
This mix has a TNT equivalent ranging from 3%-10%, i.e. the OK City bomb is the equivalent of 150 - 500 pounds of TNT.

AQQ = 380 tons of RDX, HMX and PETN. RDX and PETN have a TNT equivalent value of 170%. Converted into TNT, the AQQ stockpile equals 646 tons or 1,292,000 pounds of explosives.

Convert this back into my OK City metric, and this means that the lost material at AQQ equals betwen 2,584 - 8613 OK City-size bombs. That's one hell of a lot of material to be on the street -- enough to fuel a car-bomb and IED-based insurgency for years, if not decades.

Imagine that picture above repeated 2,584 - 8,613 times: A rough mean of 5,600 Murrah Federal Buildings destroyed.

It took less than
a pound of this stuff to bring down Pan Am 103 over Lockerbie. So the amount stolen right from under Dumbya's™ nose equals:

x 760,000

Hey Chimpy™, are you paying attention now?


Friday, October 22, 2004

Dear Ass·hat

Thank you for all of your tax-supported junk mail, but I've already voted. Even if I wanted to change my vote--and I don't, you dumbfuck rightards--I can't at this point.

However, I would like to thank you for taking enough of an interest in my puny self that you would think it important enough to send 1st Class postage to me that espouses your many good points (all of which are corporately bought).

On a good note, however: You suxors, and won't be around for the next election cycle.


Tuesday, October 19, 2004


DKos and Atrios are keeping very nice tabs on our Reality-Based efforts. Sinclair stock continues to tank, and advertiser-boycott threats are a driving force.

Better yet, the conservatives are
turning on their own like pirañhas:
Famed shareholder attorney William S. Lerach will hold a news conference at 1 p.m. today to discuss insider self-dealing by officers of Sinclair Broadcasting, the Baltimore-based television chain that is forcing its affiliates to show a propaganda film that attacks presidential candidate John Kerry. He will release a set of demands aimed at making Sinclair executives disgorge millions of dollars in unjustified profits taken out of the firm when stock prices were high during the past 12 months. Yesterday the company's stock fell a further 8 percent after being down more than 50 percent from the year's beginning, as advertisers pulled back to avoid the station's self-generated political controversy.

Lerach ain't no saint, and that's what makes this latest event so ironically delicious.


Saturday, October 16, 2004

O Canada! Update:

Remember how Chimpy™ suddenly
pulled that idea out his ass about importing flu vaccines from Canada? And remember how the FDA and HHS weren't going for it?

Well, that's all moot. Canada has pretty much said that Americans
are just going to have to get sick:
Albert Schumacher, president of the Canadian Medical Association, also warned doctors yesterday to avoid giving U.S. visitors any of the vaccines purchased by provincial health plans, which represents the vast majority of the supply in Canada.

"The stuff that's sitting in my fridge isn't for them," Dr. Schumacher said.

It seems that--planning ahead--Canada has enough flu vaccine for Canadians, but can't go tossing any to their poor, bumbling southern neighbors.
With half of the U.S. supply choked off by quality-control problems, clinics such as the border outpost of the Northwestern Health Unit in Fort Frances, Ont., have been getting a steady stream of calls from worried Americans.

"There was even somebody from Florida wanting to purchase a dose," said Cindy McKinnon, the clinic's vaccine specialist.

Dear Preznit Blinky™: When you tell the global community to go screw themselves, they tend to have a habit of returning the favor. Maybe next time you'll worry more about your people than your corporate buddies.

Oh, I forgot. There isn't going to be any "next time" for you.


Friday, October 15, 2004

The Shot Heard 'Round the World

What started as a musket shot in 1775 culminates here and now: My right to Vote, bought with the blood of our Founding Fathers, dutifully and gratefullly exercised in the name of Democracy.

Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.
--George Washington



Give this man a friggin Pulitzer!

STEWART: See, the thing is, we need your help. Right now, you're helping the politicians and the corporations. And we're left out there to mow our lawns.

BEGALA: By beating up on them? You just said we're too rough on them when they make mistakes.

STEWART: No, no, no, you're not too rough on them. You're part of their strategies. You are partisan, what do you call it, hacks.

Begala and Fucker Carlson were expecting irreverent fluff from Stewart, who floored them by being honest instead:

CARLSON: Let me ask you a question on the news.

STEWART: Now, this is theater. It's obvious. How old are you?

CARLSON: Thirty-five.

STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.

CARLSON: Yes, I do. I do.

STEWART: So this is...

CARLSON: I know. I know. I know. You're a...

STEWART: So this is theater.

The mainstream media is nothing more than a cesspool of insulated, self-important media whores who are too busy hearing themselves talk to bother actually doing their jobs, and Jon Stewart was the man who finally called those partisan hacks out:

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

STEWART: You need to go to one. The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk...

CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

Of course, I've got a special chamber of darkest contempt for Fucker Carlson himself. I can't even begin to tell you how it warmed the cockles of my heart to hear this:

CARLSON: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion. OK, up next, Jon Stewart goes one on one with his fans...

STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

It's pretty sad that television's only responsible journalist is a comedian on Comedy Central. But I'm sure as hell grateful he's there.


Aw, crap...

Attaturk, via DKos, there comes this tragic moment of deja vu:

A 17-member Army Reserve platoon with troops from Jackson and around the Southeast deployed to Iraq is under arrest for refusing a "suicide mission" to deliver fuel, the troops' relatives said Thursday.

The soldiers refused an order on Wednesday to go to Taji, Iraq — north of Baghdad — because their vehicles were considered "deadlined" or extremely unsafe, said Patricia McCook of Jackson, wife of Sgt. Larry O. McCook.

Dumbfuck REMF's ordering soldiers into combat without proper equipment and leadership. This sounds just like another war, another quagmire, that tore this country apart. How long until we start hearing about "fragging" again? How long until some dumbass officer wakes up to the sound of a grenade rolling into his tent?

"He told me that three of the vehicles they were to use were deadlines ... not safe to go in a hotbed like that," Patricia McCook said.

Hill said the trucks her daughter's unit was driving could not top 40 mph.

"They knew there was a 99 percent chance they were going to get ambushed or fired at," Hill said her daughter told her. "They would have had no way to fight back."

So their only other choice was to suffer arrest and imprisonment.

Thank you, Dumbya™, for putting our defenders in such an inviduous position. Way to go supporting our troops.


O Canada!

Did anyone catch this in the
second debate?

HORSTMAN: Mr. President, why did you block the reimportation of safer and inexpensive drugs from Canada which would have cut 40 to 60 percent off of the cost?

BUSH: I haven't yet. Just want to make sure they're safe. When a drug comes in from Canada, I want to make sure it cures you and doesn't kill you.

Actually, that fubar'd Medicare plan of his forbids importation from Canada, as well as outlawing the negotiation of bulk-pricing. Whatever.

It's just a strange contrast to this little ditty from the
third debate:

Bush: We're working with Canada to hopefully -- that they'll produce a -- help us realize the vaccine necessary to make sure our citizens have got flu vaccinations during this upcoming season.

Hmm...your FDA consistently refuses to certify drugs from Canada (dispite the fact that they're manufactured and packaged here in the US), and consistently asks states not to import drugs from Canada. Yet now you're for it?

Well, better late than never. I'm glad you've told HHS and the FDA to
change their tune on Canadian drugs:

But that vaccine is not licensed for sale in the United States, and thus meeting FDA requirements in time for this flu season "is doubtful," Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson told reporters Thursday.


Preznit Blinky™, instead of vacationing in Crawford, why don't you make a visit to Rancho Reál?

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Drive-by Post
(an update for my regulars)

Sorry about the recent paucity of posts, but I've been tied up trying to cinch my MCSE. And that hasn't been fun.

I showed up for my last test (070-219) only find that Prometric had fubar'd their end, and I had to wait 90 minutes just to start the exam. Now, the test runs 3hrs, but the testing center had other people waiting for their turn, which really only left me 90 minutes.

Needless to say, I failed (scored 675 out of 700 needed). I was just going to let it go and look at my options (settle for an MCSA? Try 070-219 again?), but the nice lady who had spent 90 minutes holding Prometric to task said that she thought it unfair that I be expected to concentrate after cooling my heels for an hour and a half, and then being distracted by other test-takers who also had appointments to keep. She feels that Prometric ought to let me take the test again, under normal circumstances this time, without charge. She then called them and told them that, and gave me her case# to use in arguing the same myself.

So, I have to call Prometric and see if they'll do the honorable thing.

(For the record, if you show up 90 minutes late to a Prometric/Microsoft exam, you can just kiss your $125 goodbye.)

Anyway, once I figure out my next step, I'll start posting again.

In the meantime, check out
The Poor Man's latest. Enough rage to keep you occupied until I get back to our regularly scheduled snark.


Friday, October 01, 2004

You Knew Science Wouldn't Let Us Down

At last, scientific evidence that
Country Music will Kill You:
It was a study called "The Effect of Country Music on Suicide" that garnered the prize for Medicine for Steven Stack of Wayne State University and James Gundlach of Auburn University.

According to the study, published in Social Forces, "The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate."


Boston Globe

Dumbya™ Got Decked

The blogoshpere is having a field day with last night's debate, so there's no need to join the mayhem. But,
via Merkin over at Daily Kos, there comes this nice summary:

Pissed-off and completely clueless.


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