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Cthulhu: You are ZIM!!!
"Invader blood runs through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!" Which Invader Zim character are you?
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You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
Cthulhu, if your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. Congratulations and thank you!
How grammatically sound are you?
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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn ("In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."). --HP Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
The stars hath turned in the heavens once more: Mighty Cthulhu stirs. His dreams reacheth forth, communing with those with ears to hear. Iä! Shub-Niggurath! His thoughts trample down along the pathways of thy mind; thou knowest His footprints, each of which is a wound...
Saturday, September 18, 2004
What Do You Mean by "Free"?, Part I
Welcome to the first installment of Bill of Rights 101. As an armchair historian, I'm sickened by people who bandy "freedom" around without any understanding or appreciation of what it actually means. "They hate our freedoms" is one example. To my knowledge, Osama bin Laden has stated that he hates our presence in Muslim holy lands, and he hates our support of Israel; but never once has he said that he hates The Bill of Rights or The Constitution. "Land of the Free" is another phrase that rubs me the wrong way: Almost no one who says that phrase can define what they mean by that. At least, define it and be right at the same time.
So, without further ado, let's get started:
Amendment I:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
The first sentence is clear: No laws either supporting or denying religious beliefs. This is the infamous "separation of Church and State" clause. While religious conservatives insist that the second part is violated by prohibiting school prayer, Constitutional scholars (ie, the Courts) have decided long ago that both conditions must be met in any given circumstance. To whit, school prayer isn't Constitutional because it would violate the first part of the first sentence.
The second sentence, the "Right to Free Speech", has been the most-contested, and most-upheld, section of any piece of legislation in US history. As with any interpretation, historical context is paramount: In the Colonies, you could be arrested for bumping into a friend on the street and mentioning to him that you thought the English were a bunch of pompous jerks. Furthermore, your local newspaper could be shutdown or siezed by the government if they were to inform your neighbors about your arrest. This Right was included solely for the purpose of guaranteeing every American the Right to talk to anyone else about anything else, and for the media to do the same.
There is a 200yr history of court battles seeking to impose limits on this Right. Google for specifics, but here's a synopsis: You can't call someone else a name for the sole purpose of hurting/angering them (no "Fighting Words"), you can't yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater (Free Speech is for discourse, not mishief), and you can't conspire to commit a crime (defining "crime" is the tricky part -- conspiring to commit a terrorist act is certainly a crime, but is defying a city ordinance in order to stage a peaceful demonstration a crime?).
Which brings us to the last part of the First Amendment, the Right "of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." Remember that back in the 18th Century, the Colonists tended to make their concerns known to the English by gathering into large mobs at night, after having spent the afternoon boiling up some tar and plucking a whole lot of chickens. What this Right was telling Americans was that they could assemble into huge groups to address the government, that the government would not be able to take away that Right, but please leave the roofing supplies and poultry at home.
So, to sum up, here's the First Amendment in a nutshell:
1) Church and State can never be at the same place at the same time.
2) You can say anything you want, in any public place, so long as your intent is socio-political discourse, not mischief.
3) You can demonstrate against the government in any public place, as long as you do so peacefully.
Now here's your homework: Are any of these parts currently under attack by this administration?
Discuss.