Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn ("In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."). --HP Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu

The stars hath turned in the heavens once more: Mighty Cthulhu stirs. His dreams reacheth forth, communing with those with ears to hear. Iä! Shub-Niggurath! His thoughts trample down along the pathways of thy mind; thou knowest His footprints, each of which is a wound...

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

"Oho, mortals, didst thou thinkest me gone? Oh no no no no...Mighty Cthulhu is here, as He has been here lo these many eons. Always watching thee, and always patient.

"And is thine world a better place for Mine fortnight absence? No ho ho! Yay, tis only the more deadly, and so Great Cthulhu is mighty pleased:

"Consider ye, puny air-breathers, this. And so thine leader kisses the arse of ye far Cathay, for there is no other to support him against Mine prophet of perdition .

"And then, O foul worm-spawn, there is this:

Something Is Fishy About Bush's Environmental Posturing

Little Rock - The Bush Administration just announced that it will roll back Clinton Era controls on mercury pollution and will give power plants up to 15 years to meet the weakened standards. This announcement comes just one week after the FDA and the EPA warned pregnant women and children against consuming tuna because of high mercury levels, which can cause birth defects and brain damage in children.

"American families can't wait until 2018 for protection against hazardous pollutants like mercury," Wes Clark insisted. "Bush warned moms and kids not to eat tuna because of elevated mercury levels. But then he dilutes pollution protections, allowing more mercury to be spewed into the air moms and kids breathe. Sounds pretty fishy to me."

With the one side of his mouth sayeth he: 'Don't eat of ye fish, nor of other fruits of ye great seas.' and thence doth he say, 'Ye seas art safe, and so enjoyeth thine fruits.' Mortals, Cthulhu hast always a soft spot for such hypocrites. Especially whence they sacrifice so many unto me, and those meats so soft and sweet.

"O mortals, Cthulhu couldst rant and rave so much more, but His mighty knees are greatly sore for the slapping thereon. Let us end this with this last hilarity:


At his press conference yesterday, President Bush was asked about charges that he had received warnings prior to the September 11th attacks that a terrorist incident was imminent. He answered that even asking such a question was "an absurd insinuation." It was the same sentiment expressed by Bush's National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, who said in May of 2002 that "[no one predicted] that they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane."

The problem for the president and the administration is that the White House has previously admitted that the president had personally received such specific warnings. As ABC News reported in May of 2002, "White House officials acknowledge that U.S. intelligence officials informed President Bush weeks before the September 11th attacks that Osama bin Laden's terrorist network might try to hijack American planes." As Condoleezza Rice said at a hastily called press conference to spin these revelations, the President specifically received an "analytic report" on August 6th, 2001 at his Crawford mansion that "talked about Osama bin Laden's methods of operation" and "mentioned hijacking." According to Reuters, that report was congruent with "intelligence since 1998 that said followers of bin Laden were planning to strike U.S. targets, hijack U.S. planes.".

While the administration claims that the president's pre-9/11 warning was actually "not a warning," the threat was specific enough for Attorney General John Ashcroft to stop flying commercial airlines. While no warning was issued for the general public after Bush's personal intelligence warning, Ashcroft was flying exclusively by leased jet instead of commercial airlines because of an official "threat assessment by the FBI."

"Oho, ye insignificant wyrm-spawn, just read ye this.

"Thinkest thou that thine shit hast hit thy fan? No, not yet, sons of dust. For Cthulhu is among ye, and His wrath knoweth not bounds. If ye hateth Me now, thence wait upon Me whilst I reelect thine great fool!"

--thus spake Great Cthulhu

Friday, December 05, 2003

The Approacher hath stirred from His rest and does speak unto me again:

"Alas, Mine children; Mighty Cthulhu hast been Mighty Busy these last two fortnights. Consider ye, O worm-spawn, that Cthulhu must needs ponder thine 70-220and 70-214 if ye Abhorrent One is to achieve His MCSE. Sith ye, thou puny mortals, Cthulhu shalt soon continue His prophecies, for He is nigh unto the nefarious ways of Prometric and their piddling hurdles. Thence shalt Cthulhu enjoin ye with His joyous tales of wreckless abandon and wanton dispair!

Post Scriptum: There are only 10 kinds of people: Those who understand binary and those who don't."

--thus spake ye Defiler

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